Thank You for My Exhaustion

The other night I was able to go to bed a bit early (gasp!) and curl up with my November book club read. A few minutes into my relaxation I read these words,

“As she swam she gloried in the fact that there was nowhere to be, nothing to do, no one to worry about. No jazz pick up or karate drop-off, no homework to supervise, no birthday gifts to buy, no doctors’ appointments to book; the endless multitude of teeny-tiny details that made up her life. Each obligation on its own seemed laughably easy.  It was the sheer volume that threatened to bury her….”   (Nine Perfect Strangers, Liane Moriarty).

These words are from a scene in the book where a fictional character named Carmel is at a spa away from her children.  I paused from my reading and realized this character’s words spoke to me,

“Each obligation on its own seemed laughably easy.  It was the sheer volume that threatened to bury her.”

I wanted to share this because I think it is extremely well said.  Sometimes I don’t feel that others appreciate the “sheer volume” of what I do as a Mom and instead think things are “laughably easy.”  But anyone who is a Mom knows it is absolutely not easy.  Being a Mom is an “endless multitude” of details, with emphasis on endless.  A Mom’s to-do list is never done, period, and I have never met a mom that is not tired most of the time.

I continued reading my book and soon after reveling in her freedom Carmel says:

“But then that tiny voice beneath the exultant chanting, just the faintest whisper began:  I wonder what they’re doing now.”

 And I smiled to myself because no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing, I am always thinking of my daughters and wondering what they are up to, where they are.   Even if I were out of town swimming laps in a pool at a spa as this character is, I would be thinking about my daughters.

I thought about the irony of this for a moment, how is it that what keeps me running the most also makes me happiest?  What keeps me busiest is what I would never want to live without?  And I realize, what a gift for me to love people so much that I am willing to do everything for them to the point of my own complete exhaustion, but then when I am away from them for a little R and R, I cannot wait to get back!

The bottom line is that I would not trade being a Mom for anything in the world. Nothing.  Nada.  Zippo.  And while a spa escape is wonderful, my favorite place to be truly is home, even if when I am feeling the threat of being buried.

So, during this time of Thanksgiving I close my eyes and give great, indescribable, never-ending thanks for the three young ladies who are the absolute brightest lights in my life and for my amazing husband who is raising them with me.   I thank them for all the details big and small and the exhaustion that makes me a Mom, because there is absolutely nothing I’d rather be.

Much love and best wishes for a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Love,

Kristy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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